Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Movie =/= PC
Ok. I get why Sony Pictures wants to reboot the Spider-Man franchise. What I want to know is WHY? Specifically, what's going through those Sony exec's heads. Its not like the franchise was doing badly. The 3 movies made $2.5 billion in ticket sales worldwide, and cost the studio $597 million to make. That's not even counting video sales, my friends.
In my opinion, you reboot a franchise for the following reasons: 1) the original franchise sucked, or 2) the original franchise was dated and badly needed a facelift.
In Spider-Man's case, neither reason fits the bill. The first film was released 8 years ago. Some wines are aged more than that. And even though Spider-Man 3 was perhaps the weakest of the three movies, I would hardly say that the series jumped the shark. Personally, I think Spider-Man 3 was all over the place and had too much going on story-wise. It would probably have been better if they just did a Venom origin cameo and saved him for a villain in a future movie (I remember reading somewhere that Sam Raimi didn't even want Venom in the movie, but the movie execs insisted). But the movie wasn't so bad that it was unwatchable and the franchise unsalvageable.
Then, with Raimi leaving the project, Tobey Maguire follows suit. I wonder who they'll get to replace him?
But here we go. Sony executives aren't satisfied with making a paltry $800 million a movie. Obviously, Sam Raimi doesn't know a thing about making a good, profitable movie. If Sam Raimi feels the movie isn't good enough to be released by Sony's timeline, well, he must be dumb.
Now, we're going to be subjected to a "gritty, contemporary" Spider-Man. I can picture the discussion in the Sony executive offices now:
Michael Lynton: "Hey Howard, Sam Raimi is taking too long trying to make that Spider-Man movie 'good'. He didn't like my idea of having Spider-Man fight the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. He also didn't like my idea of having Mary Jane and Gwen Stacy getting into a 8-minute pillow fight. What should we do about it?"
Howard Stringer: "Fire Sam Raimi. Then order up some Chinese food. I'm hungry."
Lynton: "Gotcha. What are we gonna do with the story then?"
Stringer: "I have an idea. Did you see The Dark Knight? The kids loved it. Made a billion bucks. I think the kids will pay to see gritty and contemporary."
Lynton: "Great idea, boss! Mandarin or Szechuan?"
Amy Pascal (peeks head into door): "Did I hear Chinese food?"
--
Since we're discussing reboots, I began wondering how other executives would handle Spider-Man:
Bill Gates - The movie would BSOD in the middle of the screening and you'd have to start watching the movie all over again. After release, he'd announce a new version of the movie will come out 1 year later, in an attempt to pretend the previous disaster didn't happen. In Belgium, the audience throws pies at the screen.
Steve Jobs - There wouldn't be any announcement about the movie until 1 week before it's release, and even then you won't get any real details about the movie. Additionally, the movie is only compatible with 25% of the theaters.
Rick Wagner - He'd run Sony Pictures into the ground and make the movie unprofitable. Then, he'd make the US government take over the franchise in order to make it profitable again.
In my opinion, you reboot a franchise for the following reasons: 1) the original franchise sucked, or 2) the original franchise was dated and badly needed a facelift.
In Spider-Man's case, neither reason fits the bill. The first film was released 8 years ago. Some wines are aged more than that. And even though Spider-Man 3 was perhaps the weakest of the three movies, I would hardly say that the series jumped the shark. Personally, I think Spider-Man 3 was all over the place and had too much going on story-wise. It would probably have been better if they just did a Venom origin cameo and saved him for a villain in a future movie (I remember reading somewhere that Sam Raimi didn't even want Venom in the movie, but the movie execs insisted). But the movie wasn't so bad that it was unwatchable and the franchise unsalvageable.
Then, with Raimi leaving the project, Tobey Maguire follows suit. I wonder who they'll get to replace him?
But here we go. Sony executives aren't satisfied with making a paltry $800 million a movie. Obviously, Sam Raimi doesn't know a thing about making a good, profitable movie. If Sam Raimi feels the movie isn't good enough to be released by Sony's timeline, well, he must be dumb.
Now, we're going to be subjected to a "gritty, contemporary" Spider-Man. I can picture the discussion in the Sony executive offices now:
Michael Lynton: "Hey Howard, Sam Raimi is taking too long trying to make that Spider-Man movie 'good'. He didn't like my idea of having Spider-Man fight the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. He also didn't like my idea of having Mary Jane and Gwen Stacy getting into a 8-minute pillow fight. What should we do about it?"
Howard Stringer: "Fire Sam Raimi. Then order up some Chinese food. I'm hungry."
Lynton: "Gotcha. What are we gonna do with the story then?"
Stringer: "I have an idea. Did you see The Dark Knight? The kids loved it. Made a billion bucks. I think the kids will pay to see gritty and contemporary."
Lynton: "Great idea, boss! Mandarin or Szechuan?"
Amy Pascal (peeks head into door): "Did I hear Chinese food?"
--
Since we're discussing reboots, I began wondering how other executives would handle Spider-Man:
Bill Gates - The movie would BSOD in the middle of the screening and you'd have to start watching the movie all over again. After release, he'd announce a new version of the movie will come out 1 year later, in an attempt to pretend the previous disaster didn't happen. In Belgium, the audience throws pies at the screen.
Steve Jobs - There wouldn't be any announcement about the movie until 1 week before it's release, and even then you won't get any real details about the movie. Additionally, the movie is only compatible with 25% of the theaters.
Rick Wagner - He'd run Sony Pictures into the ground and make the movie unprofitable. Then, he'd make the US government take over the franchise in order to make it profitable again.
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