I saw this on Youtube.com, posted by 'UltamiteLifeForm360'
John was the brain
Paul was the heart
George was the lungs
Ringo was the liver
This made me laugh real hard. I don't know why.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Outer Space and Cyberspace (they're both very cold)
The temperature of outer space is a balmy 3 Kelvin. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Kelvin scale, that's quite alright. Knowledge of it ranks on the Geek-O-Meter somewhere between owning a Periodic Table tee-shirt and knowing what comic book holds the first appearance of Spider Man (Editor's Note: the actual wearing of said tee-shirt ranks much farther down the Geek-O-Meter than the mere possession of it).
For those of you who are entrenched on the far left side of the Geek-O-Meter, the Kelvin scale is a way of measuring temperature from a starting point called absolute zero, which is so cold that all molecular activity stops. Just to illustrate, if space were a coctail party, you were a hydrogen atom, and you were to bring up the Kelvin scale in conversation with that smokin' hot helium atom over there, then absolute zero is the amount of action you would get for bringing up said topic. Of course, that's just fine with you, because the rumor mill has it that the helium hussy is actually an unreactive, colorless sort who's a little light-headed. (If you actually understood that reference, your Geek-O-Meter has just shot right past larping at an anime convention).
Coincidentally, absolute zero is also the amount of interest my wife has in this blog. Despite knowledge of this fact, I would never post anything derogatory about her for two reasons: 1) I have nothing disparaging to say about her, and 2) if I did, the rules of both the Interwebs and Murphy's Law would somehow bring knowledge of that fact around to her.
The reason I bring this up is because a co-worker of mine is obsessed with Facebook. She uses it to keep all her family and friends abreast with her goings-on. Recently, she used Facebook as a forum to cry about her situation in life and complain about how responsible she is but doesn't receive any acknowledgment from her family for it, and how her sister is so irresponsible her whilst not caring one iota about it.
This just illustrates how the Internet can cast this false sense of anonymity. She thought that by merely speaking in general terms, her family wouldn't know what she was talking about. When her sister started to recognise the situation and inquired about it in response, my co-worker panicked and asked me what she should do. My response to her, of course, was the cardinal rule of sensibility on the Internet: If you don't want someone to know or see something, then the last place for you to put it is on the Internet.
My co-worker made up some excuse and probably pinned the blame on me (perhaps I fail to appreciate how much work she is able to accomplish with Facebook running in a background window), because she told me the situation blew over. Good thing, too, because you really don't want your family relationship to drop in the 3 Kelvin range. Especially when you spend real time with them. Even more so when they can post embarrassing pictures on your Facebook wall.
For those of you who are entrenched on the far left side of the Geek-O-Meter, the Kelvin scale is a way of measuring temperature from a starting point called absolute zero, which is so cold that all molecular activity stops. Just to illustrate, if space were a coctail party, you were a hydrogen atom, and you were to bring up the Kelvin scale in conversation with that smokin' hot helium atom over there, then absolute zero is the amount of action you would get for bringing up said topic. Of course, that's just fine with you, because the rumor mill has it that the helium hussy is actually an unreactive, colorless sort who's a little light-headed. (If you actually understood that reference, your Geek-O-Meter has just shot right past larping at an anime convention).
Coincidentally, absolute zero is also the amount of interest my wife has in this blog. Despite knowledge of this fact, I would never post anything derogatory about her for two reasons: 1) I have nothing disparaging to say about her, and 2) if I did, the rules of both the Interwebs and Murphy's Law would somehow bring knowledge of that fact around to her.
The reason I bring this up is because a co-worker of mine is obsessed with Facebook. She uses it to keep all her family and friends abreast with her goings-on. Recently, she used Facebook as a forum to cry about her situation in life and complain about how responsible she is but doesn't receive any acknowledgment from her family for it, and how her sister is so irresponsible her whilst not caring one iota about it.
This just illustrates how the Internet can cast this false sense of anonymity. She thought that by merely speaking in general terms, her family wouldn't know what she was talking about. When her sister started to recognise the situation and inquired about it in response, my co-worker panicked and asked me what she should do. My response to her, of course, was the cardinal rule of sensibility on the Internet: If you don't want someone to know or see something, then the last place for you to put it is on the Internet.
My co-worker made up some excuse and probably pinned the blame on me (perhaps I fail to appreciate how much work she is able to accomplish with Facebook running in a background window), because she told me the situation blew over. Good thing, too, because you really don't want your family relationship to drop in the 3 Kelvin range. Especially when you spend real time with them. Even more so when they can post embarrassing pictures on your Facebook wall.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Pork
I love pork. Especially bacon, but pork in general rocks. I'm eating some bacon now. Stacked on top of beef and onion rings. Just the way that we were intended to eat it.
There are some out there that do not like pork. I know you're out there, but my mind has a difficult time comprehending. What's not to love about pork? And don't tell me that its not as healthy as other things, because chances are you're a hypocrite, secretly eating chocolate or avocado or something else that you're not supposed to and pretending to be health conscience. I'm pretty certain Jack LaLanne has a secret stash of sausage links in his basement.
As hard as it is for me to understand the disliking of pork, its even harder for me for someone who's forbidden to eat it. I'm talking about Jews and Muslims. They can't eat pork. I had a guy in my office who loved pork, but couldn't eat it because he was Muslim. I know he ate some of the pork dumplings that I would occasionally bring to the office. Presumably, he didn't care much as long as his mother didn't find out.
I'm firmly convinced that most of the tension in the Middle East can trace its roots back to the prohibition of pork. This might be an oversimplifcation of the problem, but I'm a simple guy and I believe it to be the root of many issues. I picture a day when we can gather the leaders of the area into a Denny's and sit down to a big breakfast buffet full of bacon and sausage. Once everyone's had a good, hearty breakfast, I'm sure they'll look around and say "I wonder what the big deal was", laugh about it, and walk out of there with a ham sandwich to go.
---
So, based upon my strong beliefs that pork can, in fact, unite peoples together, you can imagine how far from my mind a vegetarian lifestyle is. In fact, my mind has a difficult time wrapping itself around the concept:
At that moment, my brain begins to hemmorage. When I'm at the hospital recovering, hopefully the doctors will have the good sense to grind up some meat and feed it intraveniously.
The only thing harder for me to conprehend is a vegan lifestyle. I can imagine a bunch of granolas sitting around a campfire saying "I wonder what we can do to make our lives even harder and more torturious than the prohibition of meat?" Thus, veganism was born.
I reason myself against such a lifestyle by telling myself that a vegetarian/vegan contributes far more to global warming than the average carnivore due to the exponential buildup of greenhouse gases coming from a diet where beans is your main source of protein.
The reason I bring this up is because recently I went to a good friend's residence for dinner. This friend and his family are all vegetarian. Although this goes against all my beliefs, I still went because he's a good friend, and he also had corn on the cob. Although corn is technically not meat, it ranks as closer to meat in the flavor spectrum than any other vegetarian. Also, the entire side of my mother's family is from Iowa and so I'm certain there's a genetic reasoning.
To prepare myself, I bought myself an emergency stash of beef jerkey and kept it in my car. Fortunately I didn't have to use it. My friend and his wife prepared a fantastic meal and I quite stuffed myself. Although I cannot say that I'm convinced a life sans meat is for me, I probably can go without it once in a blue moon. Fortunately, the list of friends who are vegetarian is short. And there's always emergency beef jerkey.
By the way, don't watch Food, Inc. Although this has done nothing to stifle my need for meat, it has toned down my wife's desire for beef exponentially. Due to the trickle-down effect, it has reduced my red meat consumption considerably. You've been warned.
There are some out there that do not like pork. I know you're out there, but my mind has a difficult time comprehending. What's not to love about pork? And don't tell me that its not as healthy as other things, because chances are you're a hypocrite, secretly eating chocolate or avocado or something else that you're not supposed to and pretending to be health conscience. I'm pretty certain Jack LaLanne has a secret stash of sausage links in his basement.
As hard as it is for me to understand the disliking of pork, its even harder for me for someone who's forbidden to eat it. I'm talking about Jews and Muslims. They can't eat pork. I had a guy in my office who loved pork, but couldn't eat it because he was Muslim. I know he ate some of the pork dumplings that I would occasionally bring to the office. Presumably, he didn't care much as long as his mother didn't find out.
I'm firmly convinced that most of the tension in the Middle East can trace its roots back to the prohibition of pork. This might be an oversimplifcation of the problem, but I'm a simple guy and I believe it to be the root of many issues. I picture a day when we can gather the leaders of the area into a Denny's and sit down to a big breakfast buffet full of bacon and sausage. Once everyone's had a good, hearty breakfast, I'm sure they'll look around and say "I wonder what the big deal was", laugh about it, and walk out of there with a ham sandwich to go.
---
So, based upon my strong beliefs that pork can, in fact, unite peoples together, you can imagine how far from my mind a vegetarian lifestyle is. In fact, my mind has a difficult time wrapping itself around the concept:
My mind: "Wait, you want me to stop eating pork? What was that? Not just pork? You don't want me eating ANY MEAT AT ALL?"
At that moment, my brain begins to hemmorage. When I'm at the hospital recovering, hopefully the doctors will have the good sense to grind up some meat and feed it intraveniously.
The only thing harder for me to conprehend is a vegan lifestyle. I can imagine a bunch of granolas sitting around a campfire saying "I wonder what we can do to make our lives even harder and more torturious than the prohibition of meat?" Thus, veganism was born.
I reason myself against such a lifestyle by telling myself that a vegetarian/vegan contributes far more to global warming than the average carnivore due to the exponential buildup of greenhouse gases coming from a diet where beans is your main source of protein.
The reason I bring this up is because recently I went to a good friend's residence for dinner. This friend and his family are all vegetarian. Although this goes against all my beliefs, I still went because he's a good friend, and he also had corn on the cob. Although corn is technically not meat, it ranks as closer to meat in the flavor spectrum than any other vegetarian. Also, the entire side of my mother's family is from Iowa and so I'm certain there's a genetic reasoning.
To prepare myself, I bought myself an emergency stash of beef jerkey and kept it in my car. Fortunately I didn't have to use it. My friend and his wife prepared a fantastic meal and I quite stuffed myself. Although I cannot say that I'm convinced a life sans meat is for me, I probably can go without it once in a blue moon. Fortunately, the list of friends who are vegetarian is short. And there's always emergency beef jerkey.
By the way, don't watch Food, Inc. Although this has done nothing to stifle my need for meat, it has toned down my wife's desire for beef exponentially. Due to the trickle-down effect, it has reduced my red meat consumption considerably. You've been warned.
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